BHP FAN
Member
You had a talk...you didn't break up.No BFD that I can see.She did well to care enough to talk about it,you cared enough to listen. Classic win-win there,man.
Ooops, I just freaked the girlfriend out with my gun.
- Thread starter Freezebyte
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AllAmerican
Member
Though she makes a few valid points, it is time for you to move on.
ROTFLMBO!!!! Call 1-888-DUM-B@$$ for waking her with an unexpected, holstered handgun. 
So long as your first name isn't "Drew", I suspect you can win her over. 
As I sit here, I have a G19C on my right side, and a G26 on my left ankle. I have made nearly 7,000 posts here at THR, and well, I guess I'm just not normal. Course most people around here could have told you that much. 
Carry on.
So long as your first name isn't "Drew", I suspect you can win her over. As I sit here, I have a G19C on my right side, and a G26 on my left ankle. I have made nearly 7,000 posts here at THR, and well, I guess I'm just not normal. Course most people around here could have told you that much. Carry on. +1
Regardless or whether or not your g/f is trying to control you, her advice about slowing down sounds like really good advice to me. Your comments suggest that she is basically a pro-gun person. Give her some time to adjust.
All things in moderation.
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Freezebyte
member
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- 101
Thanks guys, this is all helpful. We talked again just now and she stated her big problem was and I quote
"You went from wanting a .22 plinking gun and I said, great, go get one, I love shooting .22 rifles! But it when from that to getting your gift cards for christmas to purchasing a 9mm "people killer" handgun 2 days later and now talking about SD and HD was WAAAY to much to fast. You are always meticulous and spread out over your purchases, researching them and taking your time but this round, you went full bore without even informing me"
In other words. I think its summed up as
A: I need to take this gun ownership thing SLOWLY and VERY seriously, especially SD and HD, if my mentality can even handle it
B: She needs to slowly open her mind to this hobby/lifestyle and give her time/space to do so.
And for those of you suggesting I dump her, please spare me the high school attitude towards woman.
"You went from wanting a .22 plinking gun and I said, great, go get one, I love shooting .22 rifles! But it when from that to getting your gift cards for christmas to purchasing a 9mm "people killer" handgun 2 days later and now talking about SD and HD was WAAAY to much to fast. You are always meticulous and spread out over your purchases, researching them and taking your time but this round, you went full bore without even informing me"
In other words. I think its summed up as
A: I need to take this gun ownership thing SLOWLY and VERY seriously, especially SD and HD, if my mentality can even handle it
B: She needs to slowly open her mind to this hobby/lifestyle and give her time/space to do so.
And for those of you suggesting I dump her, please spare me the high school attitude towards woman.
BrandonBowers
Member
Definitely time for a new gf.
brassdog
Member
All things in moderation. Most people woman especially, are conditioned to view guns as an evil. Some go through their entire lives never considering because "they're evil". To others, it just a tool.
I personally wouldn't have been waking the GF up while wearing a holstered sidearm. More from the domestic issues that women are very aware of.
Try to engage her in trust building exercises without actually telling her that.
Show her that you serious about yourself and her. Any true relationship has to have unconditional trust. Earn her trust but keep your dignity. Don't give in to the "Me or the guns" BS. Just prove to her that while you're spending your money, it's not necessarily wastful spending.
As for the controlling issues. Yeah, alot of people try to control others through a variety of means. ie: sex, money, etc... You should stand your ground and voice your thoughts in a nonthreating respectful manner. Any women worth loving should respect you enough to listen to you.
I applaud you for choosing to get involved in your "hobby". Now, the real part of your "hobby" is to find some professional training. I don't care what you choose but your GF will consider that a more mature/responsible attitude.
PS: FWIW, my wife of 15 years knows that I love her and that we respect each other enough to listen. I put up with her stuff and she puts up with my stuff. Good Luck!
I personally wouldn't have been waking the GF up while wearing a holstered sidearm. More from the domestic issues that women are very aware of.
Try to engage her in trust building exercises without actually telling her that.
Show her that you serious about yourself and her. Any true relationship has to have unconditional trust. Earn her trust but keep your dignity. Don't give in to the "Me or the guns" BS. Just prove to her that while you're spending your money, it's not necessarily wastful spending.
As for the controlling issues. Yeah, alot of people try to control others through a variety of means. ie: sex, money, etc... You should stand your ground and voice your thoughts in a nonthreating respectful manner. Any women worth loving should respect you enough to listen to you.
I applaud you for choosing to get involved in your "hobby". Now, the real part of your "hobby" is to find some professional training. I don't care what you choose but your GF will consider that a more mature/responsible attitude.
PS: FWIW, my wife of 15 years knows that I love her and that we respect each other enough to listen. I put up with her stuff and she puts up with my stuff. Good Luck!
KBintheSLC
Member
I'm sure she's a great gal, but that is a bit ridiculous. I keep my gun in my front pocket at home every night. Why you ask??? When bad things happen, they happen fast. You won't always have time to unlock the safe, fill the mag, and chamber a round while a few armed invaders are kicking down your door. The solution... keep a loaded gun on you at all times. Am I just paranoid??? I say no... I just have a different definition of a "comfort zone".
PS... I would not wake my wife up with a visible gun, as I'd probably get shot.
I was practicing reloads before I went to an IDPA match the other day and my GF walked in and was pissed.
Had my belt, mag holders, hearing protection, and timer on.
She said "You're dropping your magazines all over the floor!"
Luckily my hearing protection kept me from having to respond
Sounds lke your GF does have a fear of firearms if she thinks you went out and bought yourself a people killer.
Take her to the range with you. Get her a .22 to shoot along with you and introduce her to the sport.
It also sounds like shes worried about you spending your own money which is wrong of her. Its yours and you earned it. If you wanna go buy a rolex and smash it with a hammer thats your perogative.
If you were married this would be different but your not.
Since you're new though I would definatley suggest some training courses and lots of range time.
Good luck.
Had my belt, mag holders, hearing protection, and timer on.
She said "You're dropping your magazines all over the floor!"
Luckily my hearing protection kept me from having to respond
Sounds lke your GF does have a fear of firearms if she thinks you went out and bought yourself a people killer.
Take her to the range with you. Get her a .22 to shoot along with you and introduce her to the sport.
It also sounds like shes worried about you spending your own money which is wrong of her. Its yours and you earned it. If you wanna go buy a rolex and smash it with a hammer thats your perogative.
If you were married this would be different but your not.
Since you're new though I would definatley suggest some training courses and lots of range time.
Good luck.
NCsmitty
Member
IMO, you need to step back and reassess this relationship. It looks to me that somewhere along the line someone will end up very unhappy, especially if you get married.
I'm not sure if a compromise is possible here or not. I have no idea how you truly live your lives.
You don't need to get married with such issues unresolved. You're carrying the financial load and you should be able to do some of what you have a passion for, without being made to feel guilty.
Perhaps you can get her involved in shooting to break this impasse , I don't know?
Proceed with caution!
NCsmitty
I'm not sure if a compromise is possible here or not. I have no idea how you truly live your lives.
You don't need to get married with such issues unresolved. You're carrying the financial load and you should be able to do some of what you have a passion for, without being made to feel guilty.
Perhaps you can get her involved in shooting to break this impasse , I don't know?
Proceed with caution!
NCsmitty
crebralfix
member
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- Mar 7, 2004
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- 1,356
She's a girlfriend, not your wife. Your choices are YOURS, not yours AND hers.
Question: why are you playing house with this woman? I will never understand why guys refuse to be men and do things clearly. If she's not good enough to marry then get rid of her. If she is good enough to marry and you accept being submissive and walking on eggshells, then marry her. Why are you hanging out in no mans land with this unemployed bossy woman who isn't even your wife?
More idiocy is done in the name of "respect for women" than any other excuse in the history of the planet. You're so worried about offending her feewings
that you're all over the map (some will intentionally twist my words and say that I'm advocating being "mean" or some nonsense). I'm not saying to do anything except deal with the reality that I mentioned in my first paragraph. Be a man and stop playing house. All relationships are negotiated and the question is, why are you so afraid of her?
More idiocy is done in the name of "respect for women" than any other excuse in the history of the planet. You're so worried about offending her feewings
that you're all over the map (some will intentionally twist my words and say that I'm advocating being "mean" or some nonsense). I'm not saying to do anything except deal with the reality that I mentioned in my first paragraph. Be a man and stop playing house. All relationships are negotiated and the question is, why are you so afraid of her?
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Crap, my post just got eaten. Anyway, she's got a pretty poor argument if she's pulling the "normal people don't do this" crap. "Normal" is all relative. Watching videos of people shooting isn't an acceptable activity either? I watch videos all the time. Guns, cars, jets, whatever. All things I enjoy. She doesn't have much substance to her side of the argument.
Give her time, take it slow, she's probably just overreacting due to being surprised.
Dope
Give her time, take it slow, she's probably just overreacting due to being surprised.
Dope
machinisttx
Member
Eject.
brassdog
Member
Would that be premature ejection?
Seriously, you guys had a misunderstanding. That how relationships grow. Just build on it and move on. Just be sure to invite her the next time you go shooting. Make it fun and she'll associate that with you and your guns.
Good Luck!
Seriously, you guys had a misunderstanding. That how relationships grow. Just build on it and move on. Just be sure to invite her the next time you go shooting. Make it fun and she'll associate that with you and your guns.
Good Luck!
michiganfan
Member
Dont know whether to laugh or cry.
I'd find it slightly strange, I suppose, if my partner crawled into bed with me for a snuggle and had a gun strapped to him...I mean, y'can't take it off first?...but wouldn't freak out about it, and wouldn't have a problem with a bit of trying-on, especially if the gun was not loaded. Hello, doesn't everyone play dress-up with whatever new toy they get, whether it's a gun, an awesome cell-phone holster, or a new pair of shoes? (or is that just me??) I admit it doesn't seem very comfortable for lying in bed.
If you spent all your time sitting around in the house with a holstered gun, I'd wonder what you found wrong with just taking it off and setting it down (if someone walked into the room behind me right now, it seems to me it'd be quicker to grab a gun off the desk in front of me than pull it out of a holster anyway), but I still wouldn't have kittens over it.
Oh, and Seale: some people just don't want to get married (me, for example). Perhaps his gf doesn't want to get married. It's best not to assume it's a dumb decision when you don't know what someone's reasons are.
If you spent all your time sitting around in the house with a holstered gun, I'd wonder what you found wrong with just taking it off and setting it down (if someone walked into the room behind me right now, it seems to me it'd be quicker to grab a gun off the desk in front of me than pull it out of a holster anyway), but I still wouldn't have kittens over it.
Oh, and Seale: some people just don't want to get married (me, for example). Perhaps his gf doesn't want to get married. It's best not to assume it's a dumb decision when you don't know what someone's reasons are.
Carrying a firearm in a holster in your house is actually pretty smart.
It's not laying around anywhere for someone to stumble across it and start messing with it, and you have it handy if you ever need it.
That said, I don't personally carry around my apartment very often. I'm just too lazy and, well, carrying a firearm is uncomfortable. I do leave my handgun within grasping range of my desk, and my roommates are not absolute retards so I'm not worried about them...
It's not laying around anywhere for someone to stumble across it and start messing with it, and you have it handy if you ever need it.
That said, I don't personally carry around my apartment very often. I'm just too lazy and, well, carrying a firearm is uncomfortable. I do leave my handgun within grasping range of my desk, and my roommates are not absolute retards so I'm not worried about them...
Claude Clay wrote:
It becomes a question of perspectives. I do maintain that as I said "in varying degrees" control is a player.
But you have to understand that the majority of my love relationships have been a lot like a B-Rated Zombie movie:
1) No script
2.) Bad acting
3.) Idiotic decisions
4.) The occasional person that wants to eat your brains.
My perspectives may have been painted by over two decades of that.
-- John
It becomes a question of perspectives. I do maintain that as I said "in varying degrees" control is a player.
But you have to understand that the majority of my love relationships have been a lot like a B-Rated Zombie movie:
1) No script
2.) Bad acting
3.) Idiotic decisions
4.) The occasional person that wants to eat your brains.
My perspectives may have been painted by over two decades of that.
-- John
Kansan
Member
I carry mine around the house and I'm "normal". Have it on right now, actually. In all honesty, though, if someone in my house went from never owning a gun to me waking up to find a 9mm pistol on their hip (not knowing if it's loaded and knowing that they are borderline obsessive-compulsive)... (not that you are... just a hypothetical), I might be freaked out too. Freaked out that the person didn't know what he/she was doing and would shoot themselves or me. Maybe if you attend all the proper training and show that you are going to be a conscientious gun owner, she would start feeling better about it... come up with a 10 step plan or something that she is comfortable with.
Just trying to play devil's advocate and see it from her point of view. If, that is, you are interested in the relationship more than the gun-on-hip-while-waking-her-up issue. I suspect that many people on here (including myself) were "gun people" before meeting our significant others so it was something they knew from the start.
Just trying to play devil's advocate and see it from her point of view. If, that is, you are interested in the relationship more than the gun-on-hip-while-waking-her-up issue. I suspect that many people on here (including myself) were "gun people" before meeting our significant others so it was something they knew from the start.
Average Joe
Member
That's where the concealed part comes in.
Lamb of Gun
Member
It's an age old problem of men vs. women. From what you say, it doesn't seem like it matters to her whether it's the gun or video games or cars or stamp collecting.
Some women will just never understand the male need for an obsessions. Women don't need it but men do.
Some women will just never understand the male need for an obsessions. Women don't need it but men do.
Dude, you should've waited until she was in the shower and then joined her with just your holster on
...ya know, to lighten the mood a little. As far as the gf thing goes, it's just like any other issue that you have to deal with when the two of you see things differently. It just sounds like she is trying to be the voice of reason to make sure that you're taking this seriously enough. I don't see a problem with that. I don't think that she is trying to discourage you or control you. From reading what you have said, it sounds like you do have an addictive personality. Since she grew up with firearms in the home, she may know more than you and is just making sure that you take on this "hobby" with a bit more respect. I don't see control, I see a second opinion from someone who cares about you and wants you to do it right.
I carry in the home, but I'm not normal...I actually have some common sense.
Anyone telling you to dump your gf because she shared an opinion is NOT normal...and probably single.
She didn't like it. Since I don't believe in hitting women, I just shot her.
Ok, I didn't shoot her, but if I had shot her the first time I thought about it, I'd be out of jail already. :banghead: (yes, this was a joke people)As far as "insane amounts of firepower" goes; people have hobbies and collect things. I put a supercharger in my truck for no other purpose than to have a lot more horsepower, sooo... People are in to different things and as a result, they collect stuff. We're no different...we just have a bit more resposibility to deal with when it comes to our "hobby".
Congrats on the XDm! I'm jealous. I got to molest one wednesday as soon as it came off the Fedex van. Very nice firearm. 19+1=coooooll!
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