The girl has indeed done a strategic withdrawal.
Guns in the house are OK, but... no ammunition in the house, car, or shed. The previous comment about boundaries has been turned - it's now "using guns for defense falls into both our spheres because it affects me too" and is using this to say that because one of us (her) says that using guns for defense is bad, no usable guns should be in our (future) house because one person is uncomfortable with it. She says that she does not see herself changing, and that CCW is right out.
She's afraid that if someone did come in the house, that "someone would die if there's a gun". She's very empathic and can't stand the fact of anyone dying. She said, "well, you can just threaten them with the empty gun, and because I know it's empty that would be OK." She doesn't understand that you can't rely on the goodness of a robber to not kill you.
We've done the entire rotation between "guns are a human right", "heck, even the Dalai Lama and the Pope said that using guns to defend yourself is OK", "I'm owning and storing them safely", "I'm a responsible person, and can be trusted with guns", and she says "You're not compromising. I've compromised so much and you're not budging." "Compromise, compromise, compromise" is all I hear, when "compromise" means "you can't use guns for defense" and this is unacceptable.
Lastly, I have said "Fine. I would be OK with not using guns for defense, but only if you accept that I won't defend you if your life is in danger, because you have removed the tools with which I might have done so", and that gave her pause. "My parents have always said that they would give their life for one another", she says.
Our relationship has gone three years strong, but I have come to the conclusion that I may have to let her go over this. I can't stand where this is going. We agree on all other things, but this is the sticking point.Darnit.
Her arguments are not rational, they are emotional. That's not to say that emotional arguments should carry no weight. They should, if you're talking about "my uncle was run over by a ford, so I can't stand driving/riding in a ford" or "I hate blue rooms... we can never have a blue room in the house". But we're talking about some heavy issues here... your right to keep and bear arms for defense, and your personal safety, and your responsibility to protect her. Having an empty weapon with no ammo available is not a compromise, it is complete surrender. Having a firearm, with the magazine full but not in the gun, would be a compromise. Having both the firearm and the magazine in a gunvault(tm) under lock and key, would be a compromise. Agreeing to carry only under certain circumstances, would be a compromise. A firearm with no bullets is like an ambulance with an empty gas tank. She's jeapordizing your life and her own with this foolishness.
Listen, I think people can talk and work out a lot of issues, if they can make reasonable accomodations or simply tolerate another's idiosyncracies. But what you have here is her total, irrational unwillingness to concede that you have a right to keep and bear a USABLE firearm, that defense against attack is both justifiable and moral, and that you need to put your life at unreasonable risk to defend her while she puts limits on your ability to do so.
When you think about it this way, it appears that this is a person who is unwilling to see and work with the universe THE WAY IT IS and instead insists on interacting with it based on HOW SHE WISHES IT WERE instead. You are staying with this person because she is sweet/cute/pretty/good-in-bed/funny/fun-to-be-around/whatever/all-of-the-above. My personal advice to you is that 5 or 10 years from now, this person is still going to be making decisions that affect you, which are not based in reality and do not take your wants & needs into account. Odds are she will not seem so cute/sweet/fun-to-be-around then. But of course that will be too late since you have a mortgage and a couple of kids together.
If you grow a pair then and stand up for what you believe in (about ANYTHING) she'll just threaten divorce, take the kids and you spend the next 15 years paying child support and living in a van down by the river.
Keep a loaded gun in your bedside table. Get a CCW and use it every day. Do everything gun-wise that she doesn't want you doing. When she asks about it (or complains more likely) just say "Well I tried talking to you about it, and that was going nowhere, so I'm just going to do what I think is right and you can get used to it or leave". When she says that isn't fair or reasonable say "I tried to work out something fair and reasonable, but that didn't happen because you didn't know what fair and reasonable mean. The subject is no longer up for negotiation, sorry". If she throws a fit or threatens to break it off you reply "That brings me to my next topic, maybe we should start seeing other people". You can be a real b@stard about it, you've got nothing to lose at that point, and there is a slim chance that she will see your conviction about this issue and admire you for it. Being nice, sweet and accomodating is what many women think they want in a man. Some of them are surprised to find that having a man they CAN'T control is even more of a turn-on. Either way, you will be better off than you are now - either she gets with the program, or you are free to begin the rest of your life with someone you can actually be happy with.
I've been young and in love and I know what it's like to make all kinds of justifications and ifs/buts/maybes when it comes to someone who really makes your heart sing. Trust me, the head is a much better judge of such things. No one here envies your position, but you have some hard choices to make and I think you've gotten some good advice from some good people here. Sometimes a situation can be turned around, a person's mind can be changed, but based on what you've told us I do not think this is one of those cases. There are plenty of girls/women out there who would love to have a man who believes in standing up against evil in a potent way, especially when it comes crashing thru the door in the middle of the night. Give it a little time, the right one will come to you when you're not looking.
If this is truly "the one" then a few weeks or months after you've broken up with her and moved out, she may call you some day and want to talk about getting back together. (YOU MUST NEVER CALL
HER AFTER THE BREAKUP! And if she calls, you NEVER give her any idea that you'd consider getting together, unless she brings it up first - then you be lukewarm about it.) If you're not invoved with someone else by then, you may want to ask her to a date - at a shooting range. Her response will tell you everything you need to know on whether there is a future or not. Sometimes women change when you're away from them, whereas they wouldn't if you stayed. Think about it.
, now I'm all up for both, but next time I go down I'll have to bring enough ammo. 
