Ooops, I just freaked the girlfriend out with my gun.

[Ragnar Danneskjold]

She does make some very good points about not jumping into things to fast, and especially about getting training.

But I am very suspicious of anyone who tries to change someone else's behavior base on their feelings or "comfort zone". What if you would have told her that not being able to defend yourself and her inside your home was outside of YOUR comfort zone? Who then takes precedence? She doesn't even seem to be willing to learn more information. Ignorance can be forgiven. Unwillingness to learn cannot. It seems like she has decided that her emotions are going to be in charge of everything and that's that. You've been with her for a number of years, so I doubt you want to just dump her. But before you plan on taking the next step, I would make sure to deal with that issue most of all. I would say her inclination to demand that you mold your actions around her feelings without her even trying to learn about the situation is a bigger issue than the gun argument. That needs to be completely sorted out before any more relationship steps are taken.

And the comments about hand guns being "people killers" and scoffing at your exercising your rights are suspicious as well. And btw, both me and 3 other friends my age(I'm 25) all carry our handguns in the home. My girlfriend doesn't care, and neither does the girlfriend of one of 3 friends. Your girlfriend's ideas about "normal people" are very inaccurate.

 

[Squirrely]

This tread is worthless without a picture of the gf.

 

[Ragnar Danneskjold]

This tread is worthless without a picture of the gf.

lol, welcome to Fark...I mean THR.

 

[Geno]

Okay. I'm back. Time to be serious.

When my wife moved here from Chile, she came here with the experience of having survived a military coup. She then lived under a military dictatorship for the next 11 years. I spent a good bit of time there myself, so I know what she felt.

It was a pretty ugly life, and I can understand her fear of firearms. But she has to understand our Constitution. If my wife could come to respect me owning firearms, and wearing (or having at pistol at mattress-side) literally 24/7, your girlfriend can. If your girlfriend cannot, better to learn it now than after you're married, and have kids.

JMHO.

Doc2005

 

[withdrawn34]

I think she is just concerned you are becoming too obsessed with it. Give her a little space, and understand her position.

Also, try to put yourself in her shoes. What if she read every celebrity blog for hours a day, watched every celebrity-related video on YouTube all the time, participated actively in several celebrity-talk forums, and had constantly carried a cellphone that would text her updates on celebrity happenings?

It would seem weird and possibly slightly disturbing to you. However, maybe she knows how to handle it and can still prioritize other stuff.

Show her you're not crazy and ease her into it. She told you her concerns, rather than just telling you "don't do that because I don't want you to, okay." That's considerate of her and shows she wants to have a dialogue. Just talk, don't argue. And make sure she knows you understand her viewpoint.

Also, fundamentally, this might be an issue of her feeling like you spend more time with guns than the time she feels you should be dedicating to her. Women won't come out and say stuff like this so you do have to read between the lines sometimes. Make sure she knows you still love her and value time with her more than almost anything else.

 

[ljnowell]

Granted, I do live outside of city limits, although in a VERY non-RKBA state (IL). But around here many of us wear our handguns around the property and house because when you are working outside you never know when you will need it. I have put down probably 2-3 wild dogs and several coyotes in the past few months. Not to mention feral cats. Yeah, sometimes you forget and go into town with it on, thats what carhart jackets are for.

 

[BTin]

My only comment is that this is not a hobby.

It can be, but protecting yourself with a gun is not a hobby. It is a god-given right. I don't think that it is something you will "drop" like the other hobbies unless you think protecting yourself becomes less of a priority.

 

[hghpwr308]

Your GF is over reacting. I take it she wears a seat belt for protection when driving. If she is as open minded as you say why would she be freaked out about wearing a weapon for protection while out and about in the "real world". Ask her how valuable your life is to her; is it worth fight for using the best most practical tool available? How much does she value her own life? Just like with a seat belt the mistake is thinking I'll never need it.

I was beaten and stabbed by a gang in Boston where it's illegal to carry concealed. I'm 6'4", at the time 220lbs, and extremely athletic. I consider myself lucky that I was able to escape with my life that night. What was I doing to deserve this? I spooked the gang while they were stripping a car.

Seek out and get training, you and your GF - then practice on a regular basis, it's fun. Check out the book "Nation of Cowards" by Jeff Snyder, it'll give you the verbal ammo needed to address the anti-gun types. Then get a CCW, and yes for your GF too. My wife has a CCW; then again she was mugged twice in NYC during college so it didn't take much convincing.

 

[brisendines]

I read this with my wife beside me, and I had to point it out to her and we laughed at how similar we are. She has no problems with guns, has quite a few herself, but she thinks I'm weird for carrying a gun, let alone a reload, and/or another gun. Its not a big deal, so we laugh and joke about how weird I am. She did make a comment today though- she doesn't have to carry a gun if I'm with her. Hows that for job security? And yes, she does carry a gun... quite often.

 

[Gracian's Hero]

But you have to understand that the majority of my love relationships have been a lot like a B-Rated Zombie movie:

1) No script
2.) Bad acting
3.) Idiotic decisions
4.) The occasional person that wants to eat your brains.

That was classic. I've been especially prone to #3 more times than I would readily admit to

 

[average_shooter]

ArmedBear said:

BTW when I got a new holster for my 10 1/2" Super Blackhawk, and tried it on, my wife thought it was sexy.

What would Freud say of that !?

 

[FisherKing]

Some people who have had limited exposure to firearms find themselves completely consumed by the feeling of power they get when they grip or holster a firearm. This is normal. Some people don't control this feeling and it changes them a bit.

When I was a kid, there was a loaded firearm in every room of the house. My father was a cop, country boy and Alaskan outdoors enthusiast. He was also a single father of 2 boys in a less than prime piece of real estate. Those firearms sat and collected dust. A shotgun in the corner, a rifle by the door and a revolver in the nightstand. He didn't walk around the house strapped because there was no need.

I'm not saying your girlfriend is right. I'm just saying that you should watch that feeling that is pulling you in. Also, you said "hobby" several times. I don't consider carry a hobby any more than wearing shoes. Collecting, smithing or competitive shooting would be a hobby, but carrying is just common sense.

 

[green country shooter]

I can see the gf's point. As far as we know, here is a guy with no training whatsoever, doesn't even mention much experience, and she wakes up to find him holstering a pistol. How does she know it's unloaded or whether he knows how to be safe about it?

Get some training, then take her to the range and show her you know how to be safe and how to shoot, and she'll be fine with it.

Gradual exposure is the cure for fear.

Yes, some of her points are wrong and irrational, but she's struggling to explain why she's uncomfortable and she doesn't know how to put it in words that will work for guys who post on gun boards. Yes, I keep a gun nearby in the house or on me all the time. But I think what she's saying is that normal people do not practice holstering guns unless they've had some training. Go to the range. You guys are missing her very positive point that encourages him to go to the range.

 

[Guero4179]

No offense to the GF but life is too short to constantly have your behavior audited by somebody else. You just wanted to see what something is like and it has to lead to a "we need to talk"

 

[MT GUNNY]

Show her this thread!!!!

 

[axeman_g]

BTDT!

Just calmly pursue your position. She will get there. And anyway, in this climate a little fiscal responsibility is good medicine.

 

[scrat]

well i do think normal people carry guns. Same time though if i were to put a sign on my lawn it would look like this.


MY NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR

WANTS TO BAN ALL GUNS.

THEIR HOUSE IS NOT ARMED.

TO RESPECT THEIR OPINION

I PROMISE NOT TO USE MY

GUNS TO PROTECT THEM

 

[Freezebyte]

Thanks all, this has been an informative and inciteful day needless to say. Me and the girl had another discussion in all aspects of this situation. Thankfully we promised to eachother from day one that we would remain honest and truthful to eachother and always communicate, so at least we got that part right I think.

Needless to say, were on even terms and I need to do the following as a mature male, US citizen and boyfriend

A: Need to slow down and actually shoot the damn pistol first
B: Need to get some training when thats done
C: Figure out if im mentally capable of defending myself and my loved ones after training

If nothing else, it will be a just a big bang plinking gun if worse comes to worse. Or sell it and get that Browning Buckmark camper that started all this.

 

[brisendines]

"TO RESPECT THEIR OPINION

I PROMISE NOT TO USE MY

GUNS TO PROTECT THEM"


^^ Bet the police wish they could do the same.

 

[Wolfebyte]

I tend to stay out of discussions like this..

but.. my advice and 1.25 will get you the cheap coffee...

Head this one off.. sit down, discuss it. be objective, be armed with facts, not emotion. Go over gun safety, explain why it's good to have the weapon around you, not locked up..

let her handle the weapon, draw back the slide, show her how to hold the slide and push the weapon away if the slide is too strong for her to manage. A couple of weeks down the road, see if she will go to the range with you.. You wanna keep her, you will have to win her over.


maybe that's why I have 3 ex wives..


#4 is a champ though! ain't trading this one..

 

[Freezebyte]

FYI: I Just told her that I posted this on some gun forums and what you guys have been saying and suggesting and she stated:

"I'm very proud of you sweetie and yeah, maybe I did overreact a little bit, but I still love you! *kiss*"

I think we'll be ok First step, get out the range once this damn snow clears up and start practicing then go from there

 

[JWarren]

Gracian's Hero wrote:

Quote:
But you have to understand that the majority of my love relationships have been a lot like a B-Rated Zombie movie:

1) No script
2.) Bad acting
3.) Idiotic decisions
4.) The occasional person that wants to eat your brains.

That was classic. I've been especially prone to #3 more times than I would readily admit to

Thanks, but I need to amend it:

1) No script
2.) Bad acting
3.) Idiotic decisions
4.) A lot of screaming
5.) A bit of groaning
4.) The occasional person that loves you for your brains.



Wolfebyte wrote:

maybe that's why I have 3 ex wives...


#4 is a champ though! ain't trading this one..

God bless you for keeping the faith!

One ex-wife here. Found the right one at #2 and she's a keeper-- and a better shot than I am.

But I had to knock on every door at the asylum before getting to Jenn... (See above)




Freezebyte wrote:

FYI: I Just told her that I posted this on some gun forums and what you guys have been saying and suggesting and she stated:

"I'm very proud of you sweetie and yeah, maybe I did overreact a little bit, but I still love you! *kiss*"

I think we'll be ok First step, get out the range once this damn snow clears up and start practicing then go from there

What he is leaving out is that she also told him that WE all are nuts. But that's OK. My wife thinks that all of you are nuts, too. And your wives think I am nuts.

Its all part of the cosmic balance, or something like that.

But any person that can justify having 300 pairs of shoes has little room to speak of anyone being crazy (Jenn just hit me for typing this.)


-- John

 

[esmith]

Ask her if she would be okay if you didn't carry in the house. Why carry when you could tape handguns all over the house. Under tables, in closets are a few places that come to mind.

 

[FoMoGo]

Time to get out the broom.
Lots more fish in the sea.


Jim

 

[bkb0000]

you don't need a woman- ESPECIALLY one that isn't even your wife- lecturing you on what is and isn't "normal." first of all, carrying a gun isn't "normal" to begin with- if it was, the gun-control debate wouldn't even exist and there would be no violent crime in this country. so "normal people" is already out of the equation here.

secondly, you DO need to be carrying your gun around. get a good comfortable holster and carry that gun everywhere you go, every waking moment. shoot it is often as you can, take a tactical pistol course, shoot it more, and pack it everywhere. that's weapon familiarity. I have a pistol on my hip right now- not because i deliberately carry in the house, but because it's become an extension of myself over the past decade. sometimes i'm lying on the couch watching the game, and i feel a pain in my hip.. oh yea, the damn gun.. i'll take it off at that point. then at some point later on i need to run to the store, so it goes back on, and probably won't come off until bed time.

some memebers of my family didn't like it, but i'd been in the army when i started carrying and people thought that made me some kind of expert (it didn't). i'd already been carrying for years by the time i met my wife- she married me knowing i'd always be packing, and though she didn't think it was "necessary" to pack a gun, she's always respected and trusted me enough to accept my ways. nowadays, she packs a smith airweight in her purse, and I just built her an AR15.