Laid down the law on my anti-gun girlfriend...success!

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Yep. It's a tough boat to be in. Now part of me says FIDO - F it, drive on. But posters like strambo make a good point in saying that there's something valuable to take away from the experience.

My case is a little different than yours on the 2a/firearms issue. She was indifferent about my gun ownership, but there were other issues working against us. As I've gained a couple years I've started to recognize that a girl's philosophy on personal defense can be a deal breaker for me. Basically the next one will either be a gun owner or have a hunger for learning that stuff before I'll consider being in an exclusive relationship with her. Till then, the single life has its benefits. Good luck man.
 
It is pretty much a learned behavior that any woman thinks they can change a man after they are together. Worked in my first marriage, and I truely loved my first wife. So far, this one has not excerised the franchise. She came into the relationship a non-shooter, now has her own pistol and can use the .410 if she has too. Never complains about my hobby, yet. Like they say, watch your six.
 
"OK. Even if we move in together, it's still outside of my boundaries to insist that you get rid of the gun. The relationship is more important to me. I'm still scared of guns though."
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Take it from me. If things in a relationship end up as they do in a relationship, you are at extreme risk of losing your home AND firearms. All that she has to do is go to the local court and file for a restraining order. All she has to do is say that she is afraid of you, and that you have firearms, and the judge WILL issue an RO.

You will be forced out of your own home, and you'll likely never see your guns again.

I hope that you do not live in a town/state that has anti-gun judges.
 
That happened to me today. MPO vice RO, but same idea.

Totally out of the friggin blue too. We just went to the range with friends yesterday...

Living on a couch in the Ready Room stinks.. But at least we have showers here. :( :(
 
Wife woke up mad, started screaming at me for making noise, (took shower, getting dressed, balanced checkbook) and yelling about alleged things that she dreamed I did..

I left and went to work. 1600 I get served, and am given 2 hours to get home get my stuff and get out (45 min in traffic).
 
FWIW, this thread is now the #1 result on Google for the words "anti-gun girlfriend". :rolleyes:
 
This kind of stories (which seem fairly common) make me really wonder about the wisdom of letting anyone move into my home. I'd been lucky with the past girlfriends in that none of them turned vicious, but the degree of bias legal against men seems pretty severe. Any I getting a distorted picture of the reality?
 
I've been married for 22 years.

I can assure you of one fact, you may have won this battle, but the war is far from over. :scrutiny:

Doc2005
 
Oleg, I don't think you're getting a distorted picture of reality as it is for many men, however, I wouldn't take that picture and run too far with it. The point of the matter is that many men (hell, most of us) make poor choices when it comes to female companionship for a variety of reasons.

Men are impulsive on that note, not really thinking far enough ahead to get deal-breaker issues like politics, religion, guns or whatnot out in the open right away. The woman often does this too, however, they're brought up with the notion that they can change things they don't like, or more to the point, that the relationship's progression will alter and change both the man and the relationship (guys can often do this too on a lesser level in regards to how a woman dresses, what she does, if she has a career etc...).

In order for two people to live in harmony and both be equally satisfied and happy with equal status in the relationship, each party has to respect the individual as much as or more than the union, understanding that the better the individuals, the better the union (so long as each party is committed to it of course). Either that, or they both have to agree on and like the same things so no opportunity for conflict will arise.

It's a tough decision, and to be honest, many men I know get very nervous during times of conflict in the home because the female has a huge arsenal to pay with should she get nasty...the worst we can do is sleep with her mother/sister/best friend, which means we pay in divorce court.
 
No, Oleg, you're not. The system is biased against men.

However: as long as the truth is on your side, an ex-gf or ex-wife going psycho and making all kinds of allegations can't hurt you much in the long run. Outright lies are may cost you money, heartache, and frustration, but are very unlikely to cost you your firearms or your freedom.

pax
 
My prospects for a mate are pretty poor around here because my "must have" list rules out most of the population. The must haves are just the basics:

- compatibility of ethical/political views
- similar religion or lack thereof
- economic and mental self-sufficiency

To that, would be nice to add personal attraction. In one of my relationships, all those were present but the personality mis-match was such that I don't even stay in touch with that ex (though I remain friendly with all the others).

I no longer have the patience to put up with much. The one local person I've dated seriously since runt_of_the_litter is mis-matched with me completely on ethics/religion/politics yet we can get along...but moving in together or haing kids together is a completely different level of compatibility. I can't imagine being able to be happy around ANY woman I know (of any age or marital status). With no potential role models and with work and school taking up most of my time, I am moving away from the idea of marrying or having kids at all.

As for the legal perils of marriage, seems to me that picking sane mates would go a long way towards ameliorating the risks...and, now that I have better judgement and can spot insanity or immaturity, that cuts out even more potential candidates. Then there's always the other side: I'd like to stay in TN for now, and that rules me out for many potential relationships also.
 
Totally off from the OP,

or maybe not; but hang in there Oleg. And JL, too.

I was persuing a relationship with a lady I was sure was "the one" for me. All I had to do was convince her of that and get her to move back to Oregon from Vermont. In the midst of that I met another lady, with kids. Just as friends. Heck, she was even willing to be a sounding board for my arguments to get Vermont to come back! And she sure wasn't interested in dating at the time!

Well, we got to know each other as friends. No games, just friends. I worked on her car, she fed me dinner. Friends.

That was 20 years ago.

We've been married eighteen years.

I had guns and I hunted, and she knew it. Wasn't her thing, but as long as I was safe and the guns were locked away from the kids, all was well. Now the kids are grown and gone, and she even goes shooting with me occasionally. Still not her thing, she can take it or leave it, but she enjoys spending time with me doing something I enjoy. That's the important thing. Oh, and the guns aren't nearly as locked up as they used to be.

So hang in there, both of you. The right one will come along, when you least expect it. Maybe even when you aren't looking her way. :)
 
Pushy females who think they can control men, including their reasonable use of firearms, need to be punished by being avoided. They should live out a long, unhappy, miserable existence as old maids. Fathers in this culture need to teach their sons to avoid controlling women.
 
CornCod:

Pushy females who think they can control men, including their reasonable use of firearms, need to be punished by being avoided. They should live out a long, unhappy, miserable existence as old maids. Fathers in this culture need to teach their sons to avoid controlling women.
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The only reason controlling women exist is because they have gotten away with it by being with men who can be controlled. Parents don't need to teach their kids to avoid controlling people, but to teach them how to not be controlled (this goes for both genders).

thumper723:

Wow...

As an update to my situation, I am still living out of my seabag at the BOQ, and have had to spend $3000+ just to remain a free man..
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Needless to say, when you get back on your feet you will be working on getting this woman out of your life as efficiently as possible, right? And please tell me there are no kids involved.

Also, you don't have any friends that you could stay with? Or at least could keep your firearms (and other belongings) in a safe place.
 
When I was active duty my good friends wife freaked out and did the same thing to him. We'd gone on a field exercise in the desert (Ft Bliss) for about 3 weeks. Before we left she was lovey dovey and life was great. When we got back he went home and she flipped out that day. Cursed him out, threw him out of the house, filed for divorce and pretty much just raked him over the coals.

He hadn't cheated or done any other kind of stupid stuff like that. Heck, he was one of the most soft spoken christian guys I knew. Became an insurance salesman after he got out of the army. But it was like flipping a switch. "Love you honey" one day and G"et the F*** out" the next. To this day he STILL doesn't know what happened.

Happy ending though. After psycho chick left him he met a really sweet lady from El Paso and they ended up getting married. Better looking than his first wife and I KNOW she treated him better.
 
Be very careful Thumper. If she goes downtown and gets a RO against you, it could mean the end of your military service. If you fall under the Lautenberg act, they can seperate you from service as you are no longer world wide qualified via your inability to carry a firearm.
 
Oleg Volk said:
This kind of stories (which seem fairly common) make me really wonder about the wisdom of letting anyone move into my home. I'd been lucky with the past girlfriends in that none of them turned vicious, but the degree of bias legal against men seems pretty severe. Any I getting a distorted picture of the reality?
Click to expand...
Sadly, you are NOT getting a distorted view, you are getting an accurate view of a distorted system.
 
Be very careful Thumper. If she goes downtown and gets a RO against you, it could mean the end of your military service. If you fall under the Lautenberg act, they can seperate you from service as you are no longer world wide qualified via your inability to carry a firearm.
Click to expand...

Well, got served today. TRO until I have my court date 9 NOV.
 
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